Psalm 139 — Geek Version (Inspired by the Hebrew)
God, you beta-tested me, did a search in the heart database so there’s nothing you don’t know about me.
You know when I sit to watch TV and when I roll out of bed in the morning. You get me.
You’re with me when I’m starring at the ceiling on my bed. You know me better than my Iphone.
You have a direct line to all my telephone calls, emails, twitters, Facebook messages, conversations, and text messages.
If I could swivel around real fast from my chair, you’d be behind me. And if I could spin fast enough, I could see you in front of my computer.
You know how to handle me like no one else. You’re written customized software for my processes.
This is just too cool and out of this world. It blows my mind.
I couldn’t get rid of You if I wanted to.
If I shot up to Heaven like a super hero, you’d already be there. If I were in the wrong bed where I shouldn’t be, you’d still be there.
In the morning, no matter how early my radio alarm wakes me, you’re already awake smiling at me when I open my eyes.
If I went on a National Geographic expedition to the bottom of the sea where no man has gone before, you’d be waving at me outside the submarine window.
You take me by the hand as if I were a little kid so I don’t get lost in the crowds going to work. You help me do the right thing in the office.
You keep me together with your Word and send me the help files on stuff I don’t understand.
Even when I give up, and fall into pitch-black thoughts as I stare at the blue screen of death, your Word still shines through. You show me where to download updated drivers.
My darkest and most hopeless thoughts can’t hide me from you. You can still find me in my plight just as if I were in a good mood.
Without software engineers helping you, You calculated all my mood swings, stored them in a database that can be charted on graphs, so you know what I’ll do next before I do.
You were with me when I was just formed by You from a sperm and an egg while in my mother’s fallopean tube.
WOW GOD! When I have to study Biology or Anatomy and Physiology and view vids, I can’t believe what You did when you made me. It hit me– what a work of art you created!
You can see better than an MRI: my skeleton, beating heart and gurgling stomach, and the structure of my mind. You know the secret of how my vascular system, nervous system, muscles and sinews were embroidered in the depths of
You knew me as an embryo, and You carefully coded the scrolls of my DNA which you documented for Heaven’s database.
Even though you possess gigabytes of data on me, you still think nothing but the best about me 24/7.
There isn’t enough gigabytes or terabytes, ram space or virtual memory to calculate your thoughts about me. If I coded all night and tried to stay away with coffee and coke, I’d only awake to see you still with me, grinning that
grin of Yours.
But Lord, get rid of the those trying to hack inside my soul.
They have developed viruses, trojans, and malware.
These people rising against your ethics, God: they make me sick.
I have no respect for them.
So I don’t fall and become like them, Beta-test me. Defrag the operating system of my mind. Edit the registry of my heart. Know what I care about and the sites that I have visited. Test for any bugs of evil in me, so then you can lead me into your eternal thought processes.