What does the Grand Canyon have to do with Cain and Abel?

This is what happens in your journey in Biblical Hebrew–you learn stuff like that the Grand Canyon is related to Cain from Cain and Abel.  You see, there’s this mall in Haifa, a north city in Israel called the Grand Canyon.  Why?  Because Canyon means Mall in Modern Hebrew.  And of course a mall is where you BUY things.  It just so happens that CAIN means “acquired.”  In B’resheet (Genesis) 4:1, Eve gives birth to a baby boy she names “Acquired” because she says, she “acquired” this man from the Lord.  The Hebrew verb for “acqure, buy, obtain” is CANA.